REACTION:
 
 
 
 
 
 
none
POST
POST A COMMENT
On Twitter:
back
On Facebook:
back
Email To:
back
a few seconds ago

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
none
POST
links

 
Comments (0) :: Transcription ::
Here we will explore true facts about the mantis shrimp. The Mantis Shrimp is a living fossil of the prehistoric clown, that all modern clowns evolved from. It is both beautiful and...wait is that a fish tail? what are you doing to that fish? The eyes of the mantis shrimp are among the most advanced eyes in the animal kingdom. These are very complicated eyes. Lots of tiny little eye parts moving in different directions. It's impossible to get a read on what these little bastards are thinking. is it mad? No. Each of our human eyes creates a single picture and the two together means that we have binocular vision. Each one of the mantis shrimp's eyes creates three separate images. A trinocular eyeball. And it has two of them, which means that it's sexnocular. Dirty Science. what was that?! you can clean your eyeballs? thats crazy. Human eyes can detect three color wavelengths. The mantis shrimp can detect 5,400 of them. Just kidding they can detect 12, nine more than we can. That's less impressive now isn't it, just nine, whatever. Imagine a color that can't even imagine. Now do that 9 more times. That is how a mantis shrimp do. Oddly the mantis shrimp is pretty bad at discerning the colors that humans can see. Which is probably why it dresses like an idiot. And this explains the modern clown as well. And just like the modern clown the mantis shrimp has a psychopathic killing instinct. Mantis shrimps are generally divided into two categories. The first, the spears, have spiny barbed front scooping claws designed to snag and stab prey. The Spears play a version of hide and go seek. Which pretty much sucks for anyone that isn't hiding. Kind of a crappy game, really, not for kids. alternatively the Smasher mantis shrimp have little, Edward bowling ball hands, that they use to punch the crap out of basically, everything. They have the fastest punch in the world, with the same acceleration as a 22 caliber bullet. To a mantis shrimp kung fu looks like thai chi. The mantis shrimp can deliver a blow with 15,000 Newtons of force, which tells you what a sissy punch Newton must have had. That punch is so powerful that the universe can't even handle it water moves out of the way so fast that little vacuums are formed, called cavitation bubbles. These bubbles collapse immediately, and the force of that collapse creates a second shockwave and even generates light and heat. That's some mortal kombat finishing move shit right there. Basically it sucks to be the mantis shrimp's roommate. Theres just way too much of the punching. Did that guy just hand him his own arm? thats crazy. have you ever heard the story of the hermit crab and the mantis shrimp? One day That's it, that's the whole story. Even the octopus, who is quite a badass, can't deal with these little psycho bastards. If your afraid of clowns, what the hell man leave the crab alone. If your afraid of clowns, stay afraid. Stay very afraid. God Damnit
ALL EPISODES
see more >
Already a member? Login here!
 
 
Having trouble? Click here to login.
or login with
 
 
forgot username/password?
 
 
Already a member? Login here!